The Kids' (Meals) are Alright

With school starting up again recently,  kids and food has been a popular topic in the blogosphere.  How to feed your kids healthy food, the best foods to feed your kids, amazing lunches to pack for your kids, the importance of variety in kids' lunches.  The list goes on, and usually has some number in front of it (the 10 best, the 11 most important, the 7 worst foods to feed your kids!).  Some of them certainly give good advice, but should be looked at as part of a bigger picture.  No food is ever only good or only bad, and much advice seems to ignore the realities of life.

I have always been an advocate for a healthy diet for anyone.  I made most of the baby food we fed our kids when they started solid foods.  I encourage them to eat healthy now, and try to make healthy meals for all of us.  We discuss how much sugar is in cereal, how much sodium is in soup and lunchmeat, and why soda counts as dessert.  There is nothing that is never allowed.

Despite my healthy focus, much of the advice I read drives me crazy!  To me, it is just not honest and is far too guilt-inducing for most real people.  I'm not advocating a straight diet of Cheetos and Lunchables, but most of the advice I'm reading seems to forget that kids become adults who are allowed, even expected, to have their own tastes, preferences and decisions to make regarding food.  We are encouraged not to cater to the requests of our kids, but we certainly cook to please our spouses and other adults.

I understand that children should be exposed to a variety of food, taught to eat what is healthy as well as what is available and to be appreciative of whatever is served to them.  However, as someone with food allergies, I could never just eat what was given to me.  Unless I have cooked my meal myself, I almost always have to start out asking many questions, and sometimes decide not to eat something instead of risking getting sick.

My kids have definitely not been trained to just eat what is presented to them, because I have not modeled that behavior for them.  But I actually think this is a healthier way to eat.  We want our kids to be thoughtful eaters, choose healthy foods, and stop eating when they are full.  I don't expect rudeness, but being a member of the clean plate club should not be a requirement anymore!

My husband is from a family where there were no alternate meals prepared, and the kids were expected to finish what was on their plate.  However, as in many families, I suspect, much food was sneaked into napkins or fed to the dog.

I have seen much importance put on having kids help plant and pick their own food.  The idea is that they will be more likely to try it if they have helped grow it.  For many years we have had a vegetable garden at home in the summer.  We have tried corn, carrots, tomatoes, squash, peppers, cucumbers, beans, basil, sweet potatoes.  One of our kids finally admitted to liking the fresh cucumbers, but will eat nothing else from the garden.  And both of them enjoyed planting and harvesting sweet potatoes, but have never eaten a single one.  Same goes for tomatoes.  Maybe someday they will appreciate it but for now my attitude is "more for me".

My kids and husband all turn up their noses at kale salad.  So I make it for myself and don't push it on the others.  We do all eat a lot of broccoli because it is one green vegetable that everyone likes.  I would rather serve a healthy food I know will get eaten than fight over a spoonful of rejected kale.

My oldest son discovered that when he is hungry enough, such as on a 10 day backpacking trip, he will eat anything.  He came home from that trip requesting all kinds of exotic food he had previously refused.  Like lasagna, which is now a family favorite.  My younger son has always had a wider palate, and now enjoys cooking and baking.  But he still has certain things he will not eat, such as fish.  He has never taken a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to school, while I am still making one almost every day for my older one.  I have encouraged tastes, but I have never forced them to eat a plateful of something they don't like.

Kids adapt and change and develop their tastes over time.  We should let them!  I truly believe this will lead to healthier and more mindful eaters