Surprise Me

Many people are currently writing about things they are grateful for in their lives.  So I decided to do something different.  I do have many, many things that I am grateful for.  I live an extremely privileged life, I'll just get that out of the way.

More fun to me is to think about the things in my life that surprise me.

I remember as a teenager lying on the beach in Evanston, looking out over Lake Michigan, and thinking something along the lines of "Maybe my future husband is across the lake."  I really wasn't one to swoon and wax romantic, but I guess I figured my life might follow a familiar trajectory.  But I was shy, introverted and a late bloomer, and it was hard to see that future as a reality.

One surprise is that my future husband WAS basically across the lake!  He grew up in Ohio.  But if you had told me that I would marry a guy from a really small town who lived on a Christmas tree farm and had chores like feeding steers I would have sent you in for serious questioning!  This was not the future husband I had envisioned.  If I described his family  background a different way, you would see only similarities with mine, however.  We both had parents who were academics from New England, both had parents who were the first generation in their families to go to college, both are one of four siblings.  These and other similarities are what made us compatible despite pretty different upbringings.

I am a committed feminist... my definition of a feminist is anyone who appreciates a woman's right to vote and own property.  I worked at one of the places anti-feminists love to hate most, Planned Parenthood (one of my most memorable jobs which I might write a separate post about).  Despite that I have had a surprisingly traditional married life.  I haven't worked full time since the day before I became a mother, and sporadically since then.  This has been for a variety of reasons, and I fully appreciate my situation.  I do most of my family's cooking, laundry and cleaning.  But years ago, I never pictured myself having the patience to be a "stay at home mother".  I also thought I would have four kids, but that was before I ever had any!

I'm not sure what the future holds for me as my kids and I get older, but I am grateful to have many options.

My children are complete surprises to me.  I did gestate and give birth to both of them, but there have been numerous times I have looked at them and thought "Now where did you come from again?"  I thought parenting would be easier, starting with trying to feed the first one.  But at a phase when many people are worried about the path their kids will take, I see my sons maturing, making great choices and helping each other out in ways that I didn't see before.  I even see myself in them in ways maybe I can't define.  My sense of humor, love of reading, occasional anxiety, irreverance and sarcasm all show up in my kids.  Hopefully some more positive qualities will too!

So often we have tunnel vision about our lives, and forget that every day brings new surprises for all of us.  Here's hoping for some good ones.